HHH famous fables- from Spanish lands

​The two youngsters were practising singing Happy Birthday to you.  Lucas
seemed to have got the hang of it better than Roisin, but Lucas had picked up Spanish quicker than any of us and has turned out to be the darling of all the old ladies in the village because he speaks to them. We have a huge number of accents here in Andalucia and no two villages pronounce words the same! Anyway the kids kept singing and then came the bit of who's birthday it was...........Feliz Culpeanos dear Alfonzo Juan Carlos Jose Fransisco.......'Hang on a minute', I butted in, 'You can't lump five  kids birthdays in one heap like that.' 'We're not Dad,.....thats Alfonso's name!!!   At that point I left them to it, they had already caused confusion earlier in the day when I found them washing their feet in the Bidet. 'Why are you covered in mud?' I dared to ask.  'We have been over the river and met an old woman. She said unless we come back by next week she is going to eat the kittens as she can't afford to keep them!'  Roisin joined in, 'She's very old and squashy and looks as though she's shrinking, and will probably be dead by next week so that would solve the problem, wouldn’t it Dad, and can you pass the towel please.'
Helen has increased her total of Grooming customers from 2 to 3!!! so you
can tell how hard pressed she is. Two Westies and Black Jack, a Japanese
Akita who is so fat she has to groom most of him lying down and the rest of the time he is suspended on chains!! The bit he enjoys the most is being
hosed down in the stable yard with the kids having a shower with
him.........it gets hot here. We had 16 hours rain in total from May until
last week, when it chucked it down all week...much to the delight of the locals. The temperature during the summer can be extreme and grooming takes on a different technique. The pavements are so hot
you could fry an egg on them if you were daft enough to go out during the
afternoon, and if you had clipped all the hair away from a dogs feet, you
could produce a very unhappy hound, hopping from foot to foot!
The builders are slowly driving us round the twist and it looks as though
another 2 weeks at least will be needed to complete the conversion of the
old farm house to our super dooper Guest accommodation and new bedrooms for Christy and Lucas. We are looking forward to completion before we take to the drink (at 45 cents a litre)and become Alco's!
And finally............We stood in the queue at the Supermarket, along with
about a dozen other people. The couple being served were English with a very Oxford type accent...'Can you tell us if this jar of jam has any
preservatives in it as our daughter is allergic to them?' The girl on the
till was trying her best to keep a straight face whilst the ladies in the queue were almost having hysterics. PRESERVATIVO IS SPANISH FOR CONDOMS!!!
The Tripple H.